{"id":2736,"date":"2013-03-20T15:55:46","date_gmt":"2013-03-20T15:55:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/?p=2736"},"modified":"2013-03-20T16:24:19","modified_gmt":"2013-03-20T16:24:19","slug":"con-culture-secret-lovers-you-say-hes-just-a-friend","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/?p=2736","title":{"rendered":"[Con Culture] Secret Lovers: You Say He’s Just a Friend"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Hey<\/a>

Hey Secret Boyfriend!!!!<\/p><\/div>\n

Shortly after Valentine\u2019s Day, an article was passed and shared around the cosplay newsfeeds. TakoPop\u2019s \u201cConfessions of Secret Cosplay Boyfriend\u201d circulated and it got the community talking. There were mixed feelings ranging from bugged eyed emoticons to humbly agreeing with the secret boyfriend. I do agree about keeping my personal life on the down low regardless of the convention scene or my professional life. Close friends will know my relationship status and my orientation, otherwise it\u2019s no one else\u2019s business. However, I do have issues of what the article presents and how it paints the convention fan community and courting between the otaku species.
\n1. False Perception<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201c Or it might be because some cosplayers think that being perceived as single \u2013 and therefore available \u2013 will help them gain notoriety and \u2018fame\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Let me get this straight. Cosplay is a hobby that\u2019s all done for fun. More and more there seems to be a divide between hobbyist cosplayers and cosplay babes \u2013 it\u2019s almost like two different realities. While that is an entirely different topic, allowing your lady to act single in order to gain popularity in an otherwise fun hobby \u2013 the girl\u2019s got issues that the both of you need to work out. I do not understand why some cosplayers like to have this false perception, but then again, I have yet to meet a cosplay lady that fakes her relationship status in order to get more attention. Most married cosplayers are now are casually open about their status. I get that people have flirty personalities \u2013 single or not \u2013 yet, to lead people on to believe you are single is just wrong.<\/p>\n

2. But you say he\u2019s just a friend<\/strong>
\n\u201cI can either be in a department store like Macy\u2019s or Neiman Marcus holding her purse, or I can be at a convention watching her dressed up in a skintight Catwoman suit holding her purse\u2019\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

At the time this article went viral, a well-known cosplayer and I got into a mini feud over this statement, particularly to the allusion regarding boyfriends on purse duty. Simply put, I want my significant other to have fun at a con. Shared activities are a part of a healthy relationship. I do not mind if they want to hang out with their amv creator friends while I waltz off to shop for Lolita swag with my frilly friends, but later we regroup for cocktails and dinner\u2026or maybe we\u2019ll watch the amv contest together.<\/p>\n

I question when guys come to defense at this particular line \u2013 they do not mind being a purseholder at a convention. I question why are you there in the first place. Have fun \u2013 if you are spending that much money to be at an anime or comic con, enjoy yourself. However, if you are in a consensual D\/S relationship, just remember the safety word.<\/p>\n

Oh and yeah, this article reeks of heteronormativity.<\/p>\n

3. Cosplayers as Fans \/ Cosplayers as Celebrities<\/strong>
\n\u201cHugh Jackman is married and possibly gay, but that doesn\u2019t stop girls from having a crush on him. So, if a cosplayer says she has a boyfriend, would it REALLY make a bit of difference? Why the secret? Why make a big deal about it at all?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Here lies my biggest issue with Mr. Secret Boyfriend. The author implies that cosplayers hold up some sort of celebrity status. Cosplayers are not celebrities. With the exception of a few (ie: Alodia in Filipino Dora the Explorer <\/a>and Mrytle Gail being a recording artist \/ reality TV star), cosplayers do this hobby for fun. Unfortunately, there are creepy people that do hit on cosplayers regardless of status. However, most people will back off if a person is taken. The plain truth is, for every Tanya Tate there are thousands of hobbyist cosplayers worldwide that do this hobby in the name of a love for a series or character. Playing up a relationship status is the last thing on your typical cosplayer\u2019s mind at the end of the day \u2013 if anything, they need to sit down after walking around in them boots.<\/p>\n

4. One person cannot speak for the whole<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201c Do cosplayers need the attention and pandering of fanboys in order to feed into their fame? Is it necessary for cosplayers to hide their personal relationships in hopes it won\u2019t shatter the hearts and minds of her dorky minionship?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

ABSOLUTELY NOT. Fame should not ever the be driving reason why anyone should get into cosplay. Cosplay is a learning experience in craft. Cosplay is a great way to meet people in the same fandoms are you. Most of all, do cosplay for yourself and not for greased up fanboys. While reaction to this article agrees on playing relationships on the down low, the opposite of it is also just as bad.<\/p>\n

A little story from me \u2013 I was in a five year relationship with another cosplayer. People knew who we were and that relationship defined who we are. People were spazzing out over us and asking us when our wedding date would be. One photographer kept pushing for dates. Before you think that\u2019s a good thing – to be recognize as that\u00a0adorable\u00a0OTP couple \u2013 let me tell you this, you never want yourself to be defined by relationships. You lose your individuality. This is an extreme example of the other end of the argument<\/a> \u2013 the couples that spend way too much time with each other that they ignore friends and other fun activities. It\u2019s just as bad as this secret boyfriend nonsense. It’s about balance \u00a0and meeting halfway.<\/p>\n

One of the many criticisms of this editorial is that the author feels he needs to speak for all cosplayer relationships and so-called secret boyfriends. The article just reeks of insecurity and what it is liked to be the whipping boy in the relationship. As mentioned before, if it was a consenting D\/S relationship, it would not be an issue. If you were in a relationship like this, I would seriously question the securities of both parties.<\/p>\n

Most of all, go to a convention and enjoy yourselves. You already spend a lot on badges, hotel, travel, and other expenses here and there. Don\u2019t just hold the Juicy Couture bag, get your butt into the dealer\u2019s room. The anime industry need your wallet!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Shortly after Valentine\u2019s Day, an article was passed and shared around the cosplay newsfeeds. TakoPop\u2019s \u201cConfessions of Secret Cosplay Boyfriend\u201d circulated and it got the community talking. There were mixed feelings ranging from bugged eyed emoticons to humbly agreeing with…
Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-editorials"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2736","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2736"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2736\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2746,"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2736\/revisions\/2746"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2736"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2736"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scarlet-rhapsody.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2736"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}